Sephiroth, The Dinner Party Host
by xxHollowedNightmares
Summary: For CreotiaFlayier! In which Sephiroth is the host for a dinner party... Rated M to be safe!


**A/N: This is for raffle winner, CreotiaFlayier! Also, this does follow the third installment of the **_**Sephiroth, The 'Villainous' Father**_** series!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII. It would be pretty sweet if I did though…**

**Warning(s): A preggo Cloudy and the revival of Sephiroth's worst enemies… What could go wrong? Hmm…**

* * *

_**Sephiroth, The Dinner Party Host**_

"Sephiroth, move your ass! We don't have all night you know!"

"Yes Cloud…"

"And when you speak at the dinner, please make it longer than just, "Thank you everyone for coming out tonight." I can't stand when you just say one thing and call it a speech!"

"Of course Cloud…"

"And for Gaia's sake, put some enthusiasm in what you say and don't sound like a fucking robot! At least_ show_ that you're happy about having another baby!"

"Okay Cloud…"

Sephiroth inwardly rolled his eyes when he saw Cloud turn away from the mirror to glare at him as he put on his kimono. Tonight was he and Cloud's dinner party to celebrate the new baby that would be here any day now. Cloud moodily demanded a dinner party at a fancy restaurant instead of a baby shower at their house, yes they finally able to re-build their house thanks to Sephiroth winning the lottery, because he said so, much to Sephiroth's annoyance at having to spend more money dining out instead of cooking at their home. He knew that most pregnant females became moody when they're pregnant, but Cloud, though he was male, was...well…

"Grr! Dammit I can't tie the bow! Why won't it work!"

"Because you're wrapping it around your stomach. You have to move-"

"What's wrong with my stomach? What the fuck are you trying to say Sephiroth!"

Sephiroth sighed.

"I'm saying that the fabric won't tie around your stomach because there's not enough fabric left for you to tie it…"

"So…you're calling me fat… Is_ that_ what you're trying to say?"

Sephiroth cursed as he saw Cloud's eyes become glazed over before narrowing them.

"No, Cloud, I'm not-"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I DO ALL OF THIS JUST TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK NICE FOR YOU AND FOR THE DINNER PARTY AND YOU GO AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! WHY DON'T_ YOU_ BECOME PREGNANT JUST TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN CLOTHING DOESN'T FIT YOU ANYMORE!" Cloud yelled as he began to cry. Sephiroth cut his eyes at Cloud. He didn't remember the blond having mood swings to this extent like he did when he was pregnant with the boys…well maybe he was since he did cut off his hair, but that was the worst thing he did. For the past nine months, he had been walking on chocobo egg shells when it came to Cloud. One minute he'll be happy, the next he'll be trying to slice his head off because he didn't give him a napkin when he gave him his food, or he would begin to cry because he could no longer see his feet. Even through all of that, there was_ one_ thing that Sephiroth did enjoy about Cloud's extreme mood swings and that, of course, was when Cloud became horny. He'd never seen Cloud act like a wild animal before in his life and he enjoyed every bit of it…until a month ago when Cloud said that he wanted to ride him. He refused because he thought Cloud might accidentally hurt himself and the baby, he would _never _say out loud that it was because of picturing Cloud on top of him while having that swollen belly of his had freaked him out, but Cloud took it the wrong way and thought that he didn't want to have sex with him anymore and decided kick him out of their bedroom. Needless to say, it has been a_ long_ and _painful_ month…especially when-

"Cloud, what's wrong! What did you do Sephiroth!"

Sephiroth growled when Zack busted into their bedroom and glared at him before rushing over to Cloud to wipe his eyes as Aeris quickly rushed in behind him to find out why he was crying and yelling. Sephiroth knew that the Planet didn't exactly like him, but he thought it was very low of them to bring back Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum to make his life a living hell. He hated how they instantly wormed their way into their happy home and pampered Cloud and the boys beyond belief while treating him like a fucking dog. The more he thought about it, he believed that he_ actually_ hated them more than Hojo…especially Zack. While Aeris acted more like the annoying mother-in-law, Zack acted like the jealous ex-boyfriend that was secretly trying to get back together with Cloud, which _pissed _him off to no end. He found himself acting more like a possessive animal than a human because every time Zack placed his hand on Cloud, he growled…not like a humanly growl, but like an angry Behemoth growl. Cloud was his...point blank. It's not _his _fault that Zack let himself get shot to death and missed out on claiming Cloud…_ Nope._ Not his fault at all.

"He-he called me fat!" Cloud sobbed as Zack continued to wipe his face and Aeris turned to glare at him as he still continued to sit on the bed as the children jumped up and down on the bed behind him.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such a thing! Why would you wha-whomp-wa-wuh-whomp-whomp-whomp!" was all Sephiroth heard as he blankly stared at her while inwardly wishing that he had his Masamune with him. He heard the Cetra repeat the same line over and over to him everyday. She _seriously _needed to learn something new to say…

"Yeah, what Aeris said! Besides, I believe that you're beautiful no matter how fat you look…you'll always be beautiful to me… Every time to laugh, cry, smile and-" Zack couldn't finish his line to Cloud because Sephiroth busted out laughing at the sappiness of Zack's tone. He was laughing so hard that he almost began crying. Zack turned to glare at Sephiroth.

"Why are you laughing?"

Sephiroth calmed down enough to answer Zack's question.

"You mine as well read him the most ridiculous love poetry because what you're saying is such bullshit that I can't help but laugh…"

Sephiroth ignored Zack's glare and looked at his watch before helping his children off of the bed to get them settled into the truck since they had to be at the restaurant in thirty minutes.

* * *

Why Cloud chose him to be the host? He had no clue… This would be the only time that he wouldn't mind Zack replacing him. He hated people…especially when he had to stand at the entryway to their secluded section and had to shake their hand without wearing his gloves. Cid can swear all up and down the restaurant all he wanted to, he know he saw that index finger of his disappear into his nose and to say that he was disgusted was an understatement. What grossed him out even more was when Cid used that same dirty ass hand to shake with his and Sephiroth inwardly cringed when he looked down at his hand after Cid left and saw a fucking booger lying in his hand. Luckily for him, Zack walked up to him to let him know that all of the guests had arrived and was more than happy to wipe his hand on the spiky brunette's back without him noticing. Sephiroth happily sat down next to his wife and children before opening up a wet napkin packet and used it. When he heard the clanking of silverware, he turned towards his children and almost had a heart attack.

"Boys! Give me those knives right now! They are not play toys!" Sephiroth yelled, making everyone stare at the kids in shock as they were fighting each other with the dinner knives.

"But we're playing pirates!" Yazoo happily said in defense as he tried to demonstrate how they were playing, but luckily Vincent pulled the knife out of Yazoo's hand before he almost sliced off a nice chunk of Loz's hair and Sephiroth grabbed the knives out of Kadaj's and Loz's hands.

"I do not mind if you three feel like playing pirates, but its best not to do it here with knives since you might accidentally harm someone, alright?" Sephiroth explained as the children pouted in their chairs. Not wanting the children to be upset for the rest of the night, he grabbed the napkin with the napkin holder around it and placed it in Kadaj's lap.

"Use that to play pirates with."

Kadaj smiled at Sephiroth as his brothers reached up on the table to grab their napkins and resumed playing.

"Eww! What the _hell _is on your shoulder Zack?" Tifa asked with her face scrunched up when Zack sat down next to her. Zack shrugged his shoulder before trying to look at it.

"I dunno. Mind getting it off for me?"

"Fuck no! It looks like a goddamn booger!"

Everyone stopped their small chatting and stared at Zack as Sephiroth turned looked down at the table to keep himself from letting his snickers be heard.

"EWW! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Zack yelled as he blindly swatted the back of his suit jacket. Not paying attention to where he was swatting, Zack swatted the booger off of his shoulder and straight on to Sephiroth's face. Sephiroth's eyes widened in horror as he could see the booger on his cheek form the corner of his eye. What he didn't understand was why everyone busted out laughing. Did they not understand how disgusting this was and how bad he wanted to Super Nova everyone in the goddamn room, except for his kids?

"Eww! Daddy has a nosey boogey on his face!" Loz said while pointing at him as his brothers began to laugh too. Well, it seems the children had to be added to the list now… He angrily used his wet nap to wipe the offensive booger off of his face and glared at everyone in order to make them shut up. Apparently he still had it and it worked on everyone, except for one person…

"Well, that's what you get for calling me fat." Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the smirking blond sipping his water sitting next to him. Figures…

* * *

Sephiroth was more than ready for the night to be over and done with after the booger incident, the idiot waitress spilling hot soup all over his crotch, and getting hit with the said hot soup in his eye when he tried to stop the children from flinging it at each other all the while everyone laughed at him. His right eye had a red ring around it because of how hot the soup burned him and he couldn't feel his crotchal region…all at Cloud and his friend's expenses. Apparently seeing him yell in pain was the funniest shit in the world... As soon as the food arrived, Sephiroth quickly tapped his glass to make his brief and quick speech so that they all can go the fuck home.

"First of all, I would like to say-"

"Wait, hold on Seph! I need a refill on my drink!" Yuffie said while pouting. Sephiroth blinked before lightly tapping his fingers against the table and waited for Yuffie to get her refill before starting over. Once she received her beverage and gave him a thumbs up, Sephiroth resumed his speech.

"As I was saying, thank all of you for-"

"Hold it! I need a refill, too!" Zack said as he motioned to his now empty cup.

"It can't wait?" Sephiroth asked in a cold tone.

"No. Don't worry; it will only be a few minutes…" Zack said nonchalantly as he motioned for the waiter to bring him a refill. After Zack got his refill, Sephiroth resumed his speech in a heated tone than before.

"Thank all of you for coming-"

"Hey hold up man! I need a refill too." Cid interrupted.

"Why didn't you say that to the waiter when he was standing right next to you!" Sephiroth yelled.

"Ey, calm the fuck down. It's just a fucking refill…"

Sephiroth screamed inside of his head. They were making him lose it… After Cid received his refill, Sephiroth demanded that the waiter go around filling up everyone's cup that way he won't be interrupted again.

"Now, for the last time… Thank you all for-"

"Seph…"

"WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT!" Sephiroth yelled in suppressed anger, not noticing how Cloud began to start gasping for breath and how big his eyes were.

"The…baby… IT'S COMING!"

Sephiroth stared at Cloud with his mouth open in shock as Cloud stared at him with worry in his eyes. Sephiroth did the only thing his mind would let him do…he fainted…

* * *

"Seph, wake up!"

Sephiroth came to when he felt a slap against his cheek and glared at the smirking brunette in front of him.

"Slap me again and you'll be wishing that you still had your hand to jack off with…"

Sephiroth grinned when Zack's eyes widened before frowning. When he heard a beeping noise, he realized that they weren't at the restaurant anymore and were at a hospital. Sephiroth's eyes widened and pushed Zack away from him while blindly looking for Cloud. He picked up the groaning brunette off of the floor.

"Where's Cloud!"

"He's in the next room!"

Sephiroth dropped Zack on the floor before running out of the room and into the next one. He smiled when he saw Cloud holding a crying bundle in his arms and the triplets standing on their tippy toes to look at what their mother was holding. As he walked closer to them, Cloud looked up and smiled at him as his children ran up to him and he ran his fingers through their hair with a smile on his face.

"Took you long enough to wake up… I knew that you would react the same way you did when it was time for the boys…"

Sephiroth chuckled.

"How did it go?"

"The same… I still needed the epidural. I'm happy I did though, she's a big girl…"

"She?"

Cloud nodded. Sephiroth walked up to Cloud and leaned over to see his pale skinned baby girl looking up at him with big bluish eyes. Sephiroth smiled as he lightly touched her silverish blonde tuffs of hair.

"Just as beautiful as her mother is…" Sephiroth said before leaning down to kiss her forehead, making her smile.

"Did you name her yet?"

"Of course not, I waited for you."

"Ah. Have any ideas?"

"I like Kiki… What about you?"

"Sounds beautiful to me love…" Sephiroth said before he leaned down to kiss Cloud, ignoring his boys making noises of disgust. Although Cloud drove him to the point of insanity, this is what made it all worth it…plus the mommy and daddy time that he would be receiving in three more weeks…

_**The End :)**_

* * *

**A/N: Such a cute ending… :)**

**R&R**

**-**_**KTK**_


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